MY WEEKLY WHINE
A fun and infuriating fact about me is that I was born on the very day the first Harry Potter was published and have never read the books or seen the movie. While I would love to attribute this to some sort of clairvoyant foresight that JK Rowling would be a bad person, it’s really just that I never gotten into fantasy / science fiction. It’s the same reason I haven’t seen any Game of Thrones or Lord of the Rings and why I fell asleep during Star Wars. And before you exit this newsletter to angrily message me and tell me I’m missing out - I am fully aware that I am wrong. I am positive that if I gave any of these a chance, I would find something to like. And yet… the odds of me picking up the Sorcerer’s Stone are as good as JK Rowling appearing on Queer Eye.
I completely understand the appeal of escaping into another universe - that’s why I love reality TV. My version of wizards is housewives, the villains are not dragons or witches but cheating husbands and fraud allegations, and their castles are, well, essentially just tackier castles.
While I love my Housewives, my favorite fantasy universe is the islands of Survivor. If you’re looking for a (mostly) healthy way to escape your own thoughts, look no further. When a close friend of mine broke up with her long-term boyfriend this summer and wanted to distract herself from thinking about it, I told her time may be the ultimate healer, but Survivor is a close second.
It’s the perfect antidote to all the less-than-fun feelings I’m dealing with right now. When I watch, I’m not thinking about getting laid off or finding a job or truly anything other than the game. I’m too busy playing along in my head - singularly focused on who will go home, where the votes will fall, and what my favorite players need to do in order to win. Also - someone goes home every episode! While prestige TV loves to make us wait for answers (see: Season 3 of Succession where nothing really happened until the final episode), Survivor keeps the plot moving.
Luckily for me, there’s a new season of Australian Survivor to keep me from fully spiraling right now. (Yes, I am so obsessed with Survivor I keep up with the International variations! I have no shame!) The season theme is Blood vs. Water which means the cast is made up of pairs of relatives, which means even more drama and conflict and angles to consider as you watch. Also there’s beautiful Australians with beautiful accents. Does Harry Potter have any of that?
I’m grateful to reality TV for distracting me from some of the worst thoughts that arise in a situation like this - Why me? What did I do wrong? What if I’m never successful again? etc. - and also know that those thoughts are important to name and process, even if they’re not meant to dwell on. In the past week, I’ve found that I’m splitting my time between making an escape and fixating on what happened. Fixating is a lot less fun and something you can only do so much before it a) makes you even more mad/sad or b) gets old. I’m hoping it gets old very soon.
Eventually, I’ll process my feelings in depth and move confidently forward. For now, I’ll survive with Survivor.
xoxo Colin
WHINE WITH ME
Dispatches from a never-ending void of free time
WATCHING:
Survivor (All seasons on Paramount+): See above.
I Want You Back (Prime Video): An easy, breezy modern rom-com with genuine chemistry and actual laughs.
You Season 3 (Netflix): Finally got around to watching and I love that this show has managed to get crazier every season. It’s still melodramatic and a bit incomprehensible at times but it’s so much fun.
READING:
The year I stopped trying by Katie Heaney: A very clever, dry novel about an overachieving high school senior who gives up - reads like a PG13 version of My Year of Rest and Relaxation.
Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner: I may have been the last person in Brooklyn to read this, but I am so glad I finally did.
This Vulture article investigating whether Dakota Johnson locked people inside of a Blue Bottle Coffee shop
LISTENING:
Normal Gossip: A hilarious and captivating podcast about normal people’s gossip. This episode with NPR’s Sam Sanders will get you hooked.
DAWN FM, The Weeknd: A great pop album with killer hooks. “Gasoline” and “Sacrifice” are two early highlights.
Laurel Hell, Mitski: I don’t think Mitski is capable of releasing bad music. “Love Me More” is already my favorite song of 2022.
"and their castles are, well, essentially just tackier castles" -- love that we're both binging RHONJ
YAS mitski hive rise up