This week’s topics, loosely speaking, include: the MBTA, “It Gets Better”, Gal Gadot’s Imagine video, and, of course, Jessica Chastain.
THE WEEKLY WHINE
You can change your hair and you can change your clothes, you can change your mind, that's just the way it goes, but you’ll always find your way back home.
A few months ago, I ended up at an unassuming dive bar in the West Village and heard those lyrics play through the speaker. I wasn’t dreaming: this bar was really playing “You’ll Always Find Your Way Back Home,” a pivotal but not-particularly-popular song from Hannah Montana: The Movie performed by Miley and written by (fun fact!) Taylor Swift.
Now, this wasn’t even a gay bar, where album cuts from ex-Disney stars are as common as Dua Lipa songs. Maybe the person in charge of the playlist that night was going through something. Or maybe they just identified with the song — I know I do! While I haven’t really changed my hair or clothes — I regularly wear shirts I purchased in middle school — I can always find my way back home.
I find my way back to my hometown a few times a year – and then I quickly find my way back to my apartment. I love my family but I can only handle about 72 hours in my childhood home before I fully regress into a 14-year-old.
I went home last week and came face-to-face with my angsty teenage self. I was in town for a concert in Boston: my favorite band Bleachers did a special two-night event where they performed their first two albums, Strange Desire and Gone Now, in their entirety on consecutive nights. They did this exclusively in Boston, which means it was engineered specifically for me to have a full circle moment, since the first time I saw them live was in the same city, in 2014, on their first tour.
I was a senior in high school and I remember taking the train (the Green line, for all my MBTA heads out there) from the suburbs to a tiny, dimly-lit venue in Boston. I grew up in a quiet, homogenous (read: white, irish roman catholics) suburb 20 minutes outside of the city, so every visit to Boston (still very white and roman catholic, but very diverse compared to Westwood, MA) was like a glimpse into a future I desperately wanted.
With approx. 100 colleges in a 5-mile radius, Boston is teeming with bright-eyed, newly-independent young adults. In addition to concerts, I would often go to see movies at the AMC theater that was directly on Boston Common because A) they would have the “cool” movies that were not wide releases (picture me seeing The Bling Ring alone as a sophomore in high school) and B) I wanted to feel like a cool college kid. The theater was right across the street from Emerson College (the premier college for pretentious film bros and recovering theater kids, after NYU) so I’d linger in the lobby after the show to hear what they were saying about the movie and to eavesdrop on their plans. I hung around and hung onto every word – I wanted to hear what they were getting up to while I returned to the train station to get picked up by my mom.
As a gay teen at a high school where the only other gay kids routinely showed up in anime cosplay, I saw a future for myself. (I have nothing against the cosplay kids by the way – if anything, I admire their brazen indifference to the opinions of others. It just wasn’t where I was at, sartorially or spiritually, and I think that’s okay.)
I knew that a place where I could really be myself was within reach – which was more effective than any “It Gets Better” ad.
To me, the entire “It Gets Better” concept feels like Gal Gadot’s Imagine video: well-intentioned but ultimately quite unhelpful. That’s not to knock the organization – which has undeniably done great work for so many LGBTQ+ young people – but to question what exactly the rallying cry means. What is “it” and when is it getting better? And how does it get better? And what are you doing to make it better for me?
I get that it’s about providing hope but I’m not sure the most effective way to do that is a bunch of rich, conventionally attractive celebrities (most of whom weren’t even gay!) telling you it will eventually get better. Just like I don’t need Gal Gadot, one of the worst actresses of our time, singing off-key in her Beverly Hills mansion.
A lot of the frustration I felt (and still feel sometimes) is captured in the first Bleachers song I ever heard, “I Wanna Get Better.” It came out my junior year of high school, when the “better” life I was promised was still years away. It’s an anthem about wanting to get out of where you are and create a better life for yourself – and the frustration that comes with that. It’s one of my favorite songs ever, with a soaring chorus that gives you no choice but to scream along.
Back at that concert in high school, I screamed the lyrics from a place of desperation; last Thursday, almost a decade later, I got to sing along from the “better” future I used to dream about on the train ride home.
I think it did get better. Or rather, I made it better. With a lot of luck and support and privilege and obstacles, I created a better life for myself. I try to remember this on the days where I don’t feel great – which there’s been quite a few of lately. I wanted to get better and so I did. And I still am! The plot is only just getting started.
After a fun night out or even a nice walk around the block, I try to remind myself: I am so lucky I get to live this life. I get to have the friends I have, I get to live in New York City, and I get to hear Hannah Montana songs at bars. How much better can it get from here?
Thanks for reading, as always. Next week will be a supersized Whine With Me catching up on all things pop culture — shout in the comments if there’s any shows/movies/music/etc. you want to hear about!
WHINE WITH ME
A QUICK TRIP TO THE OSCARS
I care so much about the Oscars yet I never see all the films. In fact, this year I only saw three of the ten Best Picture nominees. It’s kind of like how I religiously keep up with The Bachelor recaps despite never having seen an episode of the show.
Anyways, the only Oscars-related fight I want to talk about here is the one between my roommate Ryan and I over which of Jessica Chastain’s is superior. Chastain, the redhead variant of Anne Hathaway, wore a purple ombré Gucci dress while accepting her award for Best Actress and then changed into an emerald green dress, also Gucci, for the Vanity Fair afterparty. Both are stunning but the green is truly jaw-dropping – the way it complements her skin and hair and her OSCAR! One of my favorite red carpet looks in quite some time. I put it to a poll on my Instagram and, surprise surprise, green won by a landslide. In conclusion: I am always right.
Other favorite looks included Timothee Chalamet, in a cropped bedazzled blazer I would kill for, and Kristen Stewart, who took inspiration from my senior prom look by wearing a suit with shorts.
I thought the Oscars – all drama aside – were generally fun this year! I hated that they relegated eight of the categories to an unaired pre-show and then edited them in as if they were presented live. Haven’t we suffered enough of the damn Encanto songs??? The Oscars are going to be long no matter what! Show us all the categories!
I did feel like the hosts had zero chemistry together, which I guess is the risk of hiring three different people, but I think they held their own when doing solo bits. Regina Hall’s horny COVID bit was easily a highlight of the night.
I never saw The Power of the Dog – if only it were streaming somewhere universally accessible, ugh! – so I can’t really weigh in on the Best Picture debate but CODA was very fun! It didn’t necessarily scream ‘Best Picture’ when I watched but I certainly enjoyed myself and cried a lot. Plus, any movie whose plot hinges upon a Joni Mitchell cover gets extra points from me.
My Best Picture of the year remains The Worst Person in the World, which I really can’t recommend enough. Just trust me!!!
Next year, I will find a way to win Best Supporting Actress. Appreciate all your help in advance.
SEE U NEXT WEEK XOXO
my official statement re: Jessica Chastain
"She eagerly dressed up as the front runner in a memorable piece that looked great on stage - I loved it!" - Colin's Roommate