If I’m in your inbox, thanks for subscribing! This week’s topics, loosely speaking, include: Changes of Scenery, Gerbils, the Amanda Seyfried-assance, and Runescape.
If you like what you read, share it with a friend/coworker/enemy/secret admirer! If you don’t — please don’t tell me. I’m too sensitive.
THE WEEKLY WHINE
Running away gets a bad rap. This, despite it being the subject of (not exaggerating even a little) one of the best pop songs ever written.
Just ask the kids from my hometown who tried to run away from elementary school. Their stories became urban legends through the age-old American tradition of inter-school gossip at soccer practice: a boy who bolted for the street after losing a P.E. game of dodgeball; a girl who came surprisingly close to digging a hole under the fence. Just as they couldn’t run away from the Westwood Public School system, they could never quite escape the infamy their failed attempts brought them.
(For what it’s worth, no one ran away from my school but one girl in my third grade class did steal the second grade class’ pet gerbil and hid it in her pencil case over the weekend where it suffocated and subsequently died. I hope that girlie is doing well today – love and light xx)
Running away has such a negative connotation. What if the kids who ran away from school just wanted a change of scenery? (Ok kids shouldn’t run away but just let me see the metaphor through, ok?)
What is a “change of scenery” if not a successful rebrand of running away? A change of scenery is serene and luxe – it’s crisp white linen towels, it’s orange wine, it’s the idyllic American West: it’s the solution to any problem, the gatorade for an emotional hangover. It’s the ibuprofen and tall glass of water my parents recommend whenever anything hurts or aches. (We only buy our ibuprofen from Costco.)
I’ll admit there is a bad kind of running away. Exhibit A: In college, when I developed a crippling depression, isolated myself from all my friends, worked out twice a day and only ate granola bars, and then decided that the logical solution to all of those problems was not to go to therapy or try medication but to — you guessed it! — move across the globe from all my friends and family to study abroad in Australia.
Shockingly, the sight of the Sydney Opera House did not cure all my problems; being alone in a new country, a full day ahead of everyone back home, was not an easy adjustment for a brain sustaining exclusively on Nut and Seed Clif Bars. Instead, I went my entire first week without sleeping or eating, frantically looking up how I could get back to New York and start the year with my friends. The only reason I didn’t go home was because I couldn’t move my flight and couldn’t afford a new one.
I had run further into the very problem I tried to escape. Thankfully, there was a therapist at school who put up with me on a near-daily basis and got me on solid footing so I could enjoy what would become some of the best months of my life. Via an unlikely road, that semester did end up being the change of scenery I needed.
Of course, there was only so much progress I could make on the other side of the world. I returned with lingering anxiety plus a long-distance boyfriend without a job but with a tattoo from the computer game Runescape. I wasn’t in the best place, okay!!!
I’m happy to report that I’ve since seen lighter days (thank you, therapy and medication!) and now have a no-Runescape-tattoo policy. A Settlers of Catan tattoo could be hot, though.
My most recent foray into running away has, as of press time, gone much better. As soon as I got laid off, I knew I had to run away. Sitting in my bedroom, staring at the desk where I’d sit and take all my meetings, was surprisingly not making me feel great! I couldn’t focus on anything remotely professional until I had toes in the sand, an ocean in sight, and nothing to do but read romance novels all day. I simply wasn’t going to find myself in 30-degree New York weather. There’s a reason why Julia Roberts didn’t Eat, Pray, and/or Love in the winter!
And so I spent last week in Costa Rica with clear skies and 80-degree weather and my beloved friend Lucie at a way-too-nice resort (shout out Nana Burke for her Marriott points that I still don’t understand!) with more swimming pools, iguanas, and sunburnt retirees than I’ve seen in my entire life. I ran away from the “routine” I’d created over the last few weeks AKA I didn’t look at LinkedIn once. (But we still did Wordle by the pool — I can’t lose my streak!)
My problems haven’t gone away. I didn’t have a breakthrough about my future. The perfect job did not materialize while I stared at the Pacific Ocean.
But I had fun. I slept. I read. I got sunburnt, despite my best efforts. I ran towards the opportunity that this unexpected moment in my life has given me. I also ran towards sloths and away from snakes.
This was intended to be a trip recap but my mind went elsewhere. I’ll be back later this week with a better recap – sloth stories, beach read reviews, and my harrowing experience attending a timeshare meeting. Thanks for reading.
WHINE WITH ME
Dispatches from too much free time
WATCHING
The Weekend Away (Netflix): Much like this week’s newsletter, this Leighton Meester vehicle wrestles with the complicated ethics of running away. Although I’m not quite sure it knows that. Our girl plays a murder suspect iconically named “Beth” – need I say more? This is a movie that thrives because of, not despite, its plot holes.
The Drop Out (Hulu): I think I’ll go into this and (the much inferior) Inventing Anna in a future newsletter but the Amanda Seyfried-assance is upon us and thank god. As the first adaptation of the Elizabeth Holmes saga, this show had a lot to deliver on and damn it if it isn't doing all that and more. The pacing is perfect, keeping you on the edge of your seat even if you already know exactly what’s going to happen. Emmys across the board!
READING
Anxious People (Fredrick Backman): Based on the cover art, which is an illustration of a guy and a girl looking out at the distance, I imagined this would be a rom-com of sorts. It was a little bit of everything – comedy, mystery, thriller, satire, and even a little bit of romance. It’s about a failed bank robbery and what makes the worst people the worst.
Wild (Cheryl Strayed): If loving Wild is basic, hand me a Pumpkin Spiced Latte and call me Kimberleigh. I first read this book back in high school and instantly loved it. Now felt like the right time to reread this and WOW it hits a lot different now that I’m roughly the same age as Cheryl when she hiked the PCT. The story itself is compelling (a twenty six year old hiking for 100 days after suddenly losing her mother) but the writing is what gets me – it’s devastating yet self-deprecating yet genuinely inspiring. Also — the rare movie adaptation that builds on its source material!
LISTENING
Darkness on the Edge of Town (Bruce Springsteen): The soundtrack to me editing this newsletter this morning is this melancholy-tinged Bruce album. I have a distinct memory of “there’s a darkness on the edge of town” being Lorde’s twitter bio which prompted me to first listen back in 2014. Yet I can’t remember what I ate for breakfast yesterday.
My friend Grace’s playlists: My dear friend Grace, whom I love despite the fact that she subscribed to this newsletter only this morning, is one of the coolest people I know and has superior taste in music. I tend to listen to the same albums on repeat (folklore, Melodrama, CTRL, and Punisher make up most of my ‘On Repeat’) so I actively seek out her monthly playlists to find new music and I’ve been loving this month’s. She curates a long playlist full of artists you’ve never heard of but will quickly fall in love with. Early faves on here are “Born on a Train” by Samia and “Pulling Teeth - Audiotree Live Version” by Alix Page.
RUN AWAY WITH ME!!
this newsletter always brightens up my day, and gives me stuff to reflect on in my own life (plus avoid thinking about hurricane finals that's upon me very soon lol). But on to more pressing issues, what is your top three folklore songs? 👀 Mine is: this is me trying, august, illicit affairs. I would also recommend checking some of Picture This's songs: unconditionally, this morning, dance away with you, winona ryder. Also, Carol ades's crying during sex. hope you're having a lovely day 🤍